Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Making Decisions

I've read Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers a couple of times.  Here are notes that I recently took on her chapter about decision making that I found insightful. 

Making Decisions

Before Making a Decision

1. Focus Immediately on the No Lose Model:

Path A is right--->>Goodies (Well Being in my words)---->>Choice Point

Path B is right--->>Goodies (Well Being in my words)---->>Choice Point

My note: The No Lose Model could be called the Win Model or the Succeed No Matter What Model or Learn What Life is Teaching You in Any Moment Model

As opposed to the No Win Model which is:

Path A is it right or is it wrong?--->>Will I get Goodies (Well Being in my words)?--> Choice Point

Path B is it right or is  it wrong?--->>Will I get Goodies (Well Being in my words)?--> Choice Point

My note: The No win Model could be called the Lose Model of the Fail No Matter What Model or Don't Be Aware to What Life is Teaching You in Any Moment Model

*Goodies are opportunities to experience life in a new way, to learn and grow, to find out what you are and who you'd like to be and what you;d lie to do in life.  Sounds optimistic to me!

2. Do Your Homework

*Talk to the “right” people—people who encourage, support are positive, have taken positive risks themselves, to embrace life, who want the best for themselves and for others, who in your definition of success and well being have succeeded and practice well being

As Susan Jeffers writes, “You're not a failure if you don't make it; your's a success because you try.”

3. Establish Your Priorities

*What do you want in life?

*Remember that goals constantly change in life the decision you made ten years ago might not be the decision you wold make today; the decision you make today might not be the decision you make in five years Why? Because your priorities change.

*A decision may be “right” or “good” now. Because you later want something different from that decision still means the decision was “right”  or “good” back then

4. Trust Your Intuition

    *Even after you've done your homework, and talked to many people, and come up with a logical choice, it is possible that your impulse, your instinct, your intuition, your heart, your soul, your spirit (call it what you will) is telling you to go with the other choice. Don't be afraid to do that.

*Remember that every choice, even to stay with what is your current reality, will bring you rich opportunities for experiencing life in a new and different way if you view your life as one of opportunity and growth, and if you make and take those opportunities.    There is no wrong decision, just different ones. 

5. Lighten Up

*Nothing is that important!  As the title of another great book advises, don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff)

*You are a life time student at the large university of life.  Your curriculum is your total relationship with the world you live in from the moment you are born to the moment you die.  Each experience is a valuable lesson.  If you choose Path A, you will learn one set of lessons. If you choose path B, you will learn another set of lessons.  [My note: Whichever path you choose, you will learn some of the same lessons, lessons so important that no matter what you choose, you will learn this.]  Different classroom,  teachers, different books, different homework, different exams, but it doesn't really matter.  If you take Path A, you get to taste the strawberries. If you take Path B, you get to taste the blueberries.  If you don't like the strawberries (Path A), maybe you will try Path B or you'll eat fewer strawberries or over time you'll learn to like strawberries.  Same for blueberries and Path B.  Don't like strawberries or blueberries (Path A and Path B)?  Try raspberries (Path C).

*Whatever place you're in learn everything you can from it about yourself and the world around you.

*Whatever happens as the result of your decision, you can handle it.  This is a key concept in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway: You can handle it!

After Making a Decision

1. Throw Away Your Picture

*Set aside expectations of what you thought it would be like

*If you focus on “the way it's supposed to be” you might miss the opportunity to enjoy the way it is or to be wonderful [have well being, feel successful, be content] in a totally different way from what you imagined

2. Accept Total Responsibility for Your Decisions

*When you can find the opportunity in any decision is is much easier to accept the responsibility for making it

3. Don't Protect, Correct
*Is is most important to commit yourself to any decision you make and give it all you've got.  And if it doesn't work out, change it.  Make another decision, Life is a road of decisions. Many of us are so invested in making the “right decision” (and protecting our egos, our comforts, our appearances) that even if we don't like the path we've chosen, we hang in there for dear life.  This is craziness.  There is tremendous value in learning you don't like something and then changing your path. 

*The key to a well lived life is not to worry about making a wrong decision.  It's learning when to correct a decision. 

*Keep making decisions that take your to what you believe is your destination, knowing that the place you are was once the place you thought was your well being destination.  Appreciate and accept where you are and learn from it and also have the wherewithal to make another decision and change it when the time is right. 
Effective decision making means taking responsibility for your decisions and ultimately your life.  The following are ideas from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway about taking responsibility

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